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Towers (feat. Chris Bernstorf)

from Ghost of a Broken Record by Autumnboy

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lyrics

Break my towers down, I wanna see you in my weakness.

Somehow I got taught to admit my weakness like a 7th grade secret. Like something I’m ashamed of. Like Digimon action figures or a Rom-Com collection. I used to fear cameras, physically and metaphorically, and magnifying glasses and microscopes and anything that could expose the cracks in my foundation as if vulnerabilities becoming visible is the cause of collapse. Haha! No.

In reality my weakness isn’t a shame or a secret, but a hymn. Something to be rejoiced in. Admitting at the architectural miracle I’ve always needed because its the place where your power is perfected.

Every time I draw back the curtains, point out my insecurities, the way I shake beneath my responsibilities, how fear rots me out from the inside and selfishness has gnawed through my support beams you are seen. Filling in the gaps, mending the breaks, doing ALL that I cannot. The more the curtains come back, the less of me there is, the more of you.

So now I’m trying to remodel altogether, throw away the curtains, break down the walls, lay all my rooms bare, and expose, put up signs to proclaim my weakness. Not to hide it, but to tour guide it, point it out like a realtor selling the features. Not a falling down church on the side of a highway but a lantern, hung with intention. Every crack singing with light.

Break my towers down, I wanna see you in my weakness.

My life became a kind of, back and forth cycle of ups and downs. And the more I tried to hold myself up on my own, the more I realised how hopelessly lost I am without you.

credits

from Ghost of a Broken Record, released July 18, 2017

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Autumnboy England, UK

Experimental Emo from the United Kingdom.

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